Dear Baby Girl
I took it out. Randomly today I asked Eric to rip it out of my skin, no questions asked, "just do it" I told him. If I talked about it with him I would change my mind so he had to do it when I was in the right state of mind and who knows how long that was going to last. I was a little sad as he ripped my individuality out of my nose but what really made me individual is the fact that I was able to make the step for him to take it out. It was more than just taking out a nose ring...it was me getting rid of one of my rebellious points, which is a start. But the reason I did it was so much more beyond that.
As I walked down the sidewalk at the parade today I saw a young mom holding her little girl in her arms. I suddenly got a feeling of warmth that I have never had before in my life. I started picturing you, my little baby girl that I will someday have. This decision was made for you.
My little girl, America. The decisions I make now are going to set an example for you later. I picture you in my head and all I can do is smile. You have daddy's darker hair, very thick like mine and you look up at me with these incredible big blue eyes with this look of innocence on your face. This innocence will only last for so long and being that you are taking my name you will probably be like me and get sick of that innocence way too fast. You will want to ruin your virgin, never touched hair with red highlights. and may someday have the desire to show your individuality with a little piercing. I will be there to listen and I will understand. But there is no getting around it, we live in a world where you are judged on appearance.
You will be just as beautiful on the inside as on the outside. I see you being great with people, knowing what to say to someone feeling down. You will definitely be smart...but that does not mean you will get good grades because even though you are smart you are also stubborn and find homework pointless. You will go to college because you are a smart girl and will always think about the future. You will have so many good qualities and will deserve everything in the whole world! and I already want you to have everything in the whole world.
My nose ring obviously shows that I have a lot of a free spirit in me. I hope you have a free spirit, think for yourself and don't just do something because it is what others are doing. But I took it out for you for a reason. I took it out to show you that I am more mature than that. I don't need a nose ring to prove a point...I will prove a point using my great communication skills instead.
I did it for you because I want to set an example for you, baby girl. Living in the moment is fun but I don't see myself being a great mother with a nose ring still in. I want you to be able to grab my nose and me not to be afraid of you pulling it out. I want you to be able to tell your friends "that is my mom" and not have to explain to them that I am still a good person even though I have a nose ring because I know they will ask. I want to make you proud! I want you to be able to look up to me and say, "I want to be just like my mom".
I love you more than anything! You are already a good example to me and part of my world. I know this because the decisions I make are always made partially with you in the back of my mind. I want you to know I will always support you no matter what. But let this be and example to you. Because baby this for you, for you, for you and I can't wait to meet you!!!
Love, your mommy
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